


Zen and the Art of Hulk Maintainence

by TuckerMuratore



Series: Happiness is a Warm Puppy [4]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M, puppy, this is all fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-11
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-03-17 11:04:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3526859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TuckerMuratore/pseuds/TuckerMuratore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Enormous green rage monster, down the hall and to the left...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Zen and the Art of Hulk Maintainence

“Dr Banner, now might be a good time for you to get angry.”

“That’s my secret, Captain. I’m always angry.”

***

“Banner, are you sure you want to do this?” Natasha tipped her head sideways and crossed her arms. “The Hulk is not known for his meditation skills.”

Bruce nodded. “Tony made me think. Made me realize I might have some element of control. If I can keep the Other Guy from showing up, well, maybe I can make him go away, too. Besides–” he gripped the edge of the wall behind him and gave it a shake– “Tony says this will hold me. I trust Tony. And if Tony’s wrong, that’s why Clint is sitting in the rafters.”

Natasha looked up to see Clint give a cheerful wave and brandish the tranquilizers he carried for Bruce. She turned and faced Tony. “Does Agent Coulson know about this?”

“Yes, yes he does. In that, he knows we are testing a new formula for the tranqs. He may not know the precise details of the testing methods but yes, yes he knows. And besides. I built this. My Hulk-proof room. It will work, because, let’s face it, I built it. So it will.”

Natasha rolled her eyes and gave Clint a pointed look before leaving. They were in one of the unused labs in one of the more sparsely populated sections of the Tower, and she’d already decided to clear out the few remaining personnel. Just in case.

***

Klaxon alarms blared throughout the building. “All personnel to report to their assigned Safety Muster Area 2. Repeat, all personnel to report to their assigned Safety Muster Area 2. This is not a drill. All personnel to report…”

Natasha and Bucky dropped the sparring pads as they bolted from the gym. Bucky hollered over the sounding alarms at Natasha. “What is Safety Muster Area 2!?”

“Area 2 means the Hulk! The room didn’t hold! Come on!”

A minute later they skidded to a stop beside Tony, tucked behind a partial wall. “Stark, what the hell happened! Where is Clint?”

“Well, Miss Romanov, as the alarms indicated, the room didn’t hold. Hulk’s still inside being an enormous green rage monster because he apparently hasn’t noticed the giant gaping hole yet and Clint is performing rather stunning aerial acrobatics in his attempts to both avoid the Hulk and shoot him with sharp objects. The new tranqs will need some…fine-tuning. Tell Steve about this and I’ll tell Bucky here about Las Vegas.”

Bucky turned to Natasha. “Las Vegas?”

“It was nothing.” All three ducked as a section of pipe went flying overhead.

“Can’t be nothing if your description of it was, ‘it was nothing.’ If it was nothing, you’d have said what happened.” A door went in the same direction as the pipe.

“It wasn’t nothing. Miss Romanov here is a very…ow! What was that? Did I design you sneakers with spikes in them – is that pipe moving? And furry?” Tony pointed towards the section of pipe that had previously flown past them.

Bucky shot a horrified look at Natasha and Tony. “Peggy! She was with us! In the gym!”

“Well, Buck, I believe she’s now playing fetch.”

Two gazed in horror, and one in studied amusement, as Peggy trotted up to the Hulk’s feet. She was full-grown now, but seventy pounds of retrieving canine paled in comparison to a rampaging Hulk. Peggy dropped the pipe on his toe and scampered away as the Hulk looked down. Bucky let out the breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. Tony turned to him. “You know, Bruce’s idea to train her a service dog may work! Did you see how close she got? Hulk didn’t even see her! I could modify her paw, arm it with a few tranqs, we just send her on in, she sneaks up, pats his leg or toe or foot or something and–”

Bucky gripped Tony’s shirt and slammed him against the wall. “You! Will not! Endanger! Peggy!”

Natasha reached out slowly and patted Bucky’s shoulder. “You might want to be quiet now. We’re attracting attention.”

Bucky and Tony slowly turned to see the Hulk staring at them. Bucky slowly let Tony go and then all three fled for cover behind the closest reinforced pillars as a table went through the partial wall. “Go get Coulson! He can bring Clint’s other tranqs!” Natasha yelled at Tony.

“Are you kidding me! He’ll tell Fury! And then Pepper will hear! Do you know what it’s like to be disapprovingly stared at by Pepper!”

Bucky’s voice broke in. “Peggy! No, Peggy, come here, Peggy!” The dog had faithfully returned, this time with the doorknob in her mouth. She dropped it again on Hulk’s toe and scampered away again.

Natasha gave a low whistle. “Are you guys seeing this? The Hulk is staring at the doorknob.”

“How did he feel a doorknob when he didn’t feel the pipe? I wonder if Bruce would let me test the Hulk’s nerve sensitivity?”

“No!” Two voices rang out in unison.

“Well, she’s back. Is that a leg from the table?”

Bucky whipped his head around. “Actually, that looks like a chair leg and is the Hulk getting…less green?”

Peggy dropped the chair leg at Hulk’s feet again, but this time, sat down, wagging her tail with her tongue out. The Hulk stared at the dog and reached out a hand to pick up the chair leg. He tossed it and watched Peggy chase after it.

Clint’s voice came down from the rafters. “Hey guys? Is he getting smaller?”

Peggy and the chair leg reappeared. The Hulk crashed to the ground and Peggy climbed onto his ankle. She gave him a careful lick and settled herself, her chin on her paws staring back at the Hulk.

Natasha smacked Bucky, who was quietly panicking behind their pillar. “Look at this! She’s fine! The Hulk’s almost…amused by her!” She caught Clint’s attention in the rafters. “Try the tranqs now!”

Clint notched an arrow and let it fly. It struck the Hulk diagonally into his chest and he toppled over, sending Peggy sprawling. She trotted back over and curled up beside him as Dr Banner started to appear.

***

TO: Director Fury  
FROM: Agent Coulson  
SUBJECT: The North Wing

Miss Potts informs us Mr Stark will graciously agree to pay for all repairs, and to let her know “if that colossal idiot is anything less than gracious about it.”

Peggy begins therapy dog training tomorrow. Miss Potts informs us Mr Stark will also be graciously paying.

Miss Potts also informs us Mr Stark is considering modifying Peggy’s prosthetic to incorporate light firepower, and that she has instructed JARVIS to inform us if and when Mr Stark attempts this. We have been authorized to intervene as necessary.

TO: Agent Coulson  
FROM: Director Fury  
SUBJECT: Re: The North Wing

She gave Stark that disapproving stare of hers, didn’t she?

TO: Director Fury  
FROM: Agent Coulson  
SUBJECT: Re: Re: The North Wing

It was magnificent to observe, sir.


End file.
